One of the things that blows my freaking mind, and by freaking mind, I actually mean fucking mind, are the rich-bitch customers that come into Target. I mean, really, why are you shopping at Target? Are you broke as all hell like the rest of us or is this some kind of slumming thing?: "Look at me, Poopsie, I'm pretending to be poor, let's go to a monster-truck rally, next." But their presence doesn't really bother me, it's the way they say thank you. I know I shouldn't criticize anyone that even speaks to me at Target, I'll get to those knuckle dragger's later, but when these women say thanks You can't hear it unless you were a dog with a cone in his ear. The only sound you hear is the "s" on the end of the word. So instead of thanks, all you hear is : sssssss. "Holy shit!" I yell, "Look out lady! there's a snake in here or a leaky gas pipe!"Speaking of annoying, How hard is it, when a cashier says"Hello. or thank you, to return the favor? I mean, I totally understand that before you came to Target, You had an abortion and then your car got a flat and then your boyfriend broke up with you by TXT MSG because he didn't think that the baby was his, even tough the baby wasn't even an issue anymore–But still, all you have to do is repeat what the cashier says: If they say: "Good morning", you can even say the more non-committed: "Morning." Or even "Hi" But Nooo, they just ignore me as if I've just said: "Hi, are you fat or pregnant?"
Speaking of pregnant (nice segue). One of the few perks of the job are the pregnant or formally pregnant women. It's not that they're extra nice. Sometimes they are and other times they look like they want to hurl, I should probably stop eating live baby chicks at my register. But for reason's I have to know, they always like to wear these skimpy low-cut tops. Now I'm not into pregnant women like those weird porn sites that cater to those fetish freaks, but if you know anything about human physiology, when women get pregnant and especially during breast feeding, THEIR BOOBS GET GIGANTOR! And so, when they come up to the register, wearing low-cut tank tops, it's like their boobs are leading the way like a pushy, bodyguard shoving adoring fans out of the way to make room for the movie star. But why the low-cut shirts? In winter ? My theory is: Either their boobs hurt and the low cut things are more comfortable; The low-cut tops are easy for baby access or my favorite, they're saying: "Finally! God has blessed me with the body of a Barbie doll without one dollar of surgery! Read-em and weep boys!" Can't touch this! Do do do do!
The only time I was thrown for a loop was when a 20-something year-old woman had a chest like two bald-headed men under a blanket. But then, I noticed that she wasn't pregnant! Nor had she any body fat which also produces women with 44 DDDs. My diagnoses: Stripper, desperate house wife or mafia moll.
Speaking of getting reamed (not a good segue), They gave us our reviews recently and even tough people worked their asses off, picked up their asses and screwed them back on, they of course rewarded us with raises that make working in a Chinese shit factory look like a up-grade.
I've seen this happen before, when I worked for an art supply store. We worked our asses off, picked them up, polished them clean and kept working, and made the store lots of dollar signs. Come raise time, what do they do? Chinese shit factory! This of course caused a mass exodus of all of the good employees and a year later the place went out of business. You heard it here first. If Target folds, don't say they weren't warned.
Speaking of projectile vomiting.
That's all, EM
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