Aaahh. How I love getting up at 5AM to go to work.
The girls have been sleeping pretty well this week. It's odd because m and z sleep well during the week but got my ass up every hour on the hour on the weekend when I have the most time to sleep. MMmm sleep. Kiss that shit goodbye when you're the parent of twin girls I take the first shift 7PM-2:30AM and M (mom, note big M) take them from 2:30-whenever and then takes them to child care at 7:30. God forbid if they get her up at 3 or 4!
Top 10 guaranteed things to say to a parent of twins who hasn't had any sleep, to get your bloody arse kicked...
10) "Is that a boy or girl?" Said by old man in line at Safeway about m. We have two fraternal girls who look nothing alike. one has lots of hair.
9) "Ooh double trouble." Not very original! people!
8) "Which ones the bad one?" I am!
7) "Can I hold one?" Oh, for fuck's sake! As if!
6) "She must be the shy one." I'm sorry if my kid doesn't touch your Naaaaaaasty greasy unwashed from the rest room hand's, Mrs stranger.
5) "Ooh, that one lost out on the hair department." Heard recently. I wanted to retort: "Yes and you missed out on the looks department. You should sue God."
4) "High five!" (While holding up hand for kid to slap). Not only do Je déteste high fives, but why would I let my kid touch your Naaaaaaasty greasy unwashed from the rest room hand's Mr. Stranger?
3) "Are those twins?" I can let this one slip by itself. But It's usually followed by the other questions above.
2) "Ohh! I wouldn't wish that on anyone." Said by rude woman pushing a singleton (one kid) in a stroller and a 4-5 year old walking along the side. Wh-wha-what? You have two kids also, you fucking moron!
And the number one thing that makes me want to go Abu Girab on someone after no sleep...
1) "Looks like you have your hands full."
My fellow Americans, if you see someone struggling to get groceries in the car while trying not to have their kids skulls splatter onto the Safeway parking lot. OFFER TO HELP! KNUCKLE HEAD! More likely, they'll refuse but for the love of Jesus Chryster, don't say witty stupid-ass things to them.
That's it, EM
hahahahahha! yeshir it's all correct.
ReplyDeleteYou only left one out.
That's when people get offended that your child dosen't warm to them like a long lost grandparent. My child is following the stranger danger rules and you are making them feel like crap for it thank you very much. I always tell people that they are doing what they were taught. Not talking to strangers. Or " They don't talk to strangers."
If they try to make my child feel bad, well, they get to overhear my telling my child I understand.
"Come here and let Uncle Molestor say hi to you........over here!"